I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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