i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
