That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Holy sore nipples Batman
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
