They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
