Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
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Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
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I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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