you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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