i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
