she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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