She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
