Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
