a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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