No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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