that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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