Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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