She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
