i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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