Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
