On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
