I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
