I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
