The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize