i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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