and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
