"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
