My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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