i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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