we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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