need another drink. this is the easiest way
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
