Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
