i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
