are you so shy because you have an std?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
