1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize