She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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