Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
