this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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