So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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