brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
