You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
