Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
