escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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