We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
