you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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