You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
