I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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