found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
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I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
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I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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