It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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