I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
