elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
