Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
