New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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