I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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