Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
