I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
