You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
