Betty ford says i'm here all night
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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