he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
