You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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