you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
