Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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