Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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