a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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