Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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